Just a dog...
There
are a lot of things I remember about my childhood, but all of them have one
thing in common. He was there. I was a really, really special girl. I used to
believe and do different things that kids of my age do. I remember myself crying
behind the sofa because my father told me that he would give me a dog and I
waited for days and he didn’t do it. I cried really hard, no one could stop me,
so my father stood and said “Vistete que nos vamos” I stopped immediately and
asked why, he didn’t answer but I heard him talking to my mom and saying that
he was going to bring the dog. I ran to my bedroom and looked for something
to wear. My old sister went to my room and said “Si es brown, por que no le
ponemos Browny?” I think that that was really unoriginal but I agreed.
I don’t remember how much time I passed in the car but when we stopped my seatbelt disappeared and I got down. A particular woman in “dubi” went out of the house with a brown puppy in her hands. In this moment and now for me that puppy was the most beautiful thing I saw. It was brown like cinnamon and really little. I took it on my hand and it was really heavy but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel it on my hands. That was the beginning of it all. I gave all that I had to that dog, all myself. I used to play with him every day, to give him love and everything that I had. He was my best friend, everyday that I came from school I sat down in the stairs and told him what happened in my day and I felt like he wanted to hear me and he knew what I was saying, like if he understood, because for me he was the only one that could do it. I spent a lot of time, years, with him, a lot of time in those stairs telling him things that came to my mind or only just to look to the horizon.
There was a time that I forgot him, a time that I passed by him. He wanted to call my attention but I just said hello and went up the stairs. That memory is one of the most painful for me. One day I got out of my bedroom and I saw my mother and my sister talking of what had happened last night. They said that Browny went out of the house and when he came back he was furious. He started to walk in circles and had blood in his neck. I didn’t doubt it so my father called a veterinarian friend that he has. We went to the clinic and fortunately Browny was safe. In the trip back he was really happy, jumping through the seats and windows to watch his surroundings. This is one of the most beautiful memories that I have. In that moment everything was perfect, beautiful and complete.
I just can’t understand why one day he just started to walk weird, hunched over. He was like that for a few days. I went out with some friends and when my father took me with my sister, Browny was there. He was sitting in the back seats, he was really happy to see me and when I though that was going to jump to me my father told me that he couldn’t do it. He said that he needed rest because the doctor injected something and he couldn’t move from the waist down. At home it was really hard to see him crawling side by side. The veterinarian said that it would be only for a few days. That night I cried a lot. He was crawling and he couldn’t move but he was trying to play with us. My heart was broken. Days passed and he was in the same condition. Every day, everything was worse and worse. The veterinarian said that it would take only a few days, but Browny remained in the same condition. I asked to myself why he was like that. Nothing seemed to improve but hope, hope was bigger than the horrible things that scared me and my family.
Browny could not move now. He was lying in a bed sheet on the floor. We fed him and maked him drink water because he couldn’t do it but he didn’t accept that. He didn’t want the food, and we obligated him to drink water with a syringe. We needed to help him make his necessities by pushing his bladder. He was suffering so much as were my family and me. That dog was the heart of the family. One night I sat in front of him, I started to hug him and I told him the importance that he has in my life and that I loved him so much. I cried really hard in front of him and in my bedroom I didn’t have consolation. When I woke up I got dressed, my sister wanted to go down to take something but my mother said no. My sister went down, she didn’t care. When she went back she was crying and asking for Browny. She was desperate as me and my other sister. My mother told us the truth. Browny was gone, my father found him dead when he came from work. He said that Browny was hot and with the eyes opened, like if he was waiting for him to die. My father and Browny had a connection, different from us. I couldn’t handle the news so I cried with all of me. I cried and cried and if my heart broke last time now it was crushed. My Browny was gone, my little puppy, my all.
People said it was just a dog, but he wasn’t. Dogs are not only dogs, they are more, they are family. Now he is not here for me, to tell him my problems, to play, to hug him or to only watch the sky. For a long time I felt my heart empty. I couldn’t sit or pass by the stairs, but the worst part was when I saw his little house closed, empty. Every day I passed fast through that place because if he wasn’t there the little piece left alive of my heart would destroyed. What hurts me more is that he died alone. He died and I couldn’t do anything. I blame myself with that idea a lot.
Browny died a year ago, June 10 2013, and now writing this I couldn’t stop crying, remembering. I miss him so much, and I admit that I cried a lot of nights more than I would want to tell. But I still try and I’m still learning. Everything has a reason and I know God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. When I feel sad I remember Browny behind the stairs watching me and moving his tail. Although this is really painful for me it’s happy too because I know that not everyone can have the connection that me and my family had with Browny. Now we have another light in the house, his name is Noah Jose. We don’t forget Browny and we are never going to do that, but we know the meaning of a pet in the house. It brings union and more. We know that one day Noah is going to go too, but if he is here now, we are going to enjoy his company. There will be days that we lose really important things, people or animals but we need to live with that, of course we are going to miss them and it would be hard but this is life.
I don’t remember how much time I passed in the car but when we stopped my seatbelt disappeared and I got down. A particular woman in “dubi” went out of the house with a brown puppy in her hands. In this moment and now for me that puppy was the most beautiful thing I saw. It was brown like cinnamon and really little. I took it on my hand and it was really heavy but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel it on my hands. That was the beginning of it all. I gave all that I had to that dog, all myself. I used to play with him every day, to give him love and everything that I had. He was my best friend, everyday that I came from school I sat down in the stairs and told him what happened in my day and I felt like he wanted to hear me and he knew what I was saying, like if he understood, because for me he was the only one that could do it. I spent a lot of time, years, with him, a lot of time in those stairs telling him things that came to my mind or only just to look to the horizon.
There was a time that I forgot him, a time that I passed by him. He wanted to call my attention but I just said hello and went up the stairs. That memory is one of the most painful for me. One day I got out of my bedroom and I saw my mother and my sister talking of what had happened last night. They said that Browny went out of the house and when he came back he was furious. He started to walk in circles and had blood in his neck. I didn’t doubt it so my father called a veterinarian friend that he has. We went to the clinic and fortunately Browny was safe. In the trip back he was really happy, jumping through the seats and windows to watch his surroundings. This is one of the most beautiful memories that I have. In that moment everything was perfect, beautiful and complete.
I just can’t understand why one day he just started to walk weird, hunched over. He was like that for a few days. I went out with some friends and when my father took me with my sister, Browny was there. He was sitting in the back seats, he was really happy to see me and when I though that was going to jump to me my father told me that he couldn’t do it. He said that he needed rest because the doctor injected something and he couldn’t move from the waist down. At home it was really hard to see him crawling side by side. The veterinarian said that it would be only for a few days. That night I cried a lot. He was crawling and he couldn’t move but he was trying to play with us. My heart was broken. Days passed and he was in the same condition. Every day, everything was worse and worse. The veterinarian said that it would take only a few days, but Browny remained in the same condition. I asked to myself why he was like that. Nothing seemed to improve but hope, hope was bigger than the horrible things that scared me and my family.
Browny could not move now. He was lying in a bed sheet on the floor. We fed him and maked him drink water because he couldn’t do it but he didn’t accept that. He didn’t want the food, and we obligated him to drink water with a syringe. We needed to help him make his necessities by pushing his bladder. He was suffering so much as were my family and me. That dog was the heart of the family. One night I sat in front of him, I started to hug him and I told him the importance that he has in my life and that I loved him so much. I cried really hard in front of him and in my bedroom I didn’t have consolation. When I woke up I got dressed, my sister wanted to go down to take something but my mother said no. My sister went down, she didn’t care. When she went back she was crying and asking for Browny. She was desperate as me and my other sister. My mother told us the truth. Browny was gone, my father found him dead when he came from work. He said that Browny was hot and with the eyes opened, like if he was waiting for him to die. My father and Browny had a connection, different from us. I couldn’t handle the news so I cried with all of me. I cried and cried and if my heart broke last time now it was crushed. My Browny was gone, my little puppy, my all.
People said it was just a dog, but he wasn’t. Dogs are not only dogs, they are more, they are family. Now he is not here for me, to tell him my problems, to play, to hug him or to only watch the sky. For a long time I felt my heart empty. I couldn’t sit or pass by the stairs, but the worst part was when I saw his little house closed, empty. Every day I passed fast through that place because if he wasn’t there the little piece left alive of my heart would destroyed. What hurts me more is that he died alone. He died and I couldn’t do anything. I blame myself with that idea a lot.
Browny died a year ago, June 10 2013, and now writing this I couldn’t stop crying, remembering. I miss him so much, and I admit that I cried a lot of nights more than I would want to tell. But I still try and I’m still learning. Everything has a reason and I know God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. When I feel sad I remember Browny behind the stairs watching me and moving his tail. Although this is really painful for me it’s happy too because I know that not everyone can have the connection that me and my family had with Browny. Now we have another light in the house, his name is Noah Jose. We don’t forget Browny and we are never going to do that, but we know the meaning of a pet in the house. It brings union and more. We know that one day Noah is going to go too, but if he is here now, we are going to enjoy his company. There will be days that we lose really important things, people or animals but we need to live with that, of course we are going to miss them and it would be hard but this is life.